A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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Fat people

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Abortion

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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