Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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