thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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