Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops