A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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9

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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