Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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