- Anti Joke

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

cory is gay

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Women drivers...

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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