What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

Andoni was here

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

What's brown an sticky Shit

I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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