Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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A man died.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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how do you win a game try your best

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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