How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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So a bar walks into a man...

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops