Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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