They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I have an idea! You leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Well, we can solve this problem of the wood chuck chucking our wood by putting all of your spare wood in a wood chipper. Try throwing dust you chucking bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops