Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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8

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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