Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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