What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops