What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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