What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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