Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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One time i was sitting down

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Shltskc gw? G

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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