See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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