How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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