What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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