What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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