What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops