Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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One time i was sitting down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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