Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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