Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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8

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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