There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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What is the name of the car? What

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops