"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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asdasdasdasd

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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