What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

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BIG PENIS

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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women's rights

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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knock knock go away

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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