the power to turn magnetism into light

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops