why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops