What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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