A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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wanna here a joke? you.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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