Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Penis

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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