Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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poo

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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