Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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