- Anti Joke

Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

pudding

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

Andoni was here

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

Death by kayak

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

womens rights.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

my penis

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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