how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...