- Anti Joke

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.