A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

hi michael

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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