What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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you give like i give lomain

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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