My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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What is older than history?

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops