Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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women's rights

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Womens Sports

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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I'm Spartacus

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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