What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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Goat balls.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Ruller

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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NEVER

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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Lacrosse

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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French people.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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