- Anti Joke

Military intelligence.

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Two Jews walk in a bar...

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

milly, milly, milly, cat

Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

You know what they say about big feet... big penis.

Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

This is a joke for Homeless people:

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

Women's rights.

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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