Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Liars go to hell! -God

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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