A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -123

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +94

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a black guy with rights in 1924

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What didn't last long? You in the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Asians...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops