Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Female Athletics

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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