What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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Guest what? Dog

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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