Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

You know what's funny? Rape

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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