How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

thumb_up thumb_down -8

asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops