What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops