I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops