mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

Weaner

Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

An Asian man is driving a car. He was on the way to the market to buy dinner for his family

Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

why dont they make black forks

What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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